A look into the private journal of the Batman:

Man, I am so f*cking tired. The Penguin shot me with one of his sh*tty poisons last night and I swear I’m going to punch him in his fat face the next time I see him. What is it with that guy and the stupid poisons he shoots out of that queer umbrella? He’s like some kind of overdressed junkie, like Queer Eye for the Meth Head.

So now I’m all jacked-up on Penguin juice and Bruce Wayne has a goddamn board meeting at the office in an hour. Why in the hell do I do this to myself? This double-life crap sucks. I should just go in there as Batman and kick the Board of Directors in the teeth. “I got your corporate merger right HERE!” Ha! That would be kick ass! F*ck those guys. They don’t have to put up with the pyscho-nutjobs I have to deal with night after night.

Alfred says that f*cking Penguin juice will wear off in time but I am just SO flaming tired right now. This sucks. That’s it, I’m not going out on patrol tonight. F*ck that. I’m just going to stay in, grab a pint of Coffee Heath Bar Crunch, chill the f*ck out and watch Ugly Betty re-runs. I love that goddamn show, I don’t care what that ass-hat Alfred says. More later.