I get it. The economy f*cking sucks. Believe me, no one knows that more than me. On the one hand I’ve got new ass-clowns every day deciding that robbing liquor stores is their new career-path. And on the other I’ve got a crusty Board of Directors at Wayne Enterprises freaking out CONSTANTLY about how our [...]

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A look into the private journal of the Batman: Bruce Wayne needs a new f*cking assistant. That dick, Gregory, has got to go. Yesterday we had ANOTHER boring-ass board meeting at Wayne Towers about microprocessors in Cambodia or some sh*t. And Gregory goes and gets my lunch and brings back this nasty, over-cooked fried fish [...]

A look into the private journal of the Batman: I got home late again tonight. Like I pretty much do every night. But tonight I had Vicki Vale staying over. She’s been here pretty much every day this week. I tried hinting that maybe she should… you know… think about going home or whatever. But [...]

A look into the private journal of the Batman: Long f*cking day. I spent the entire afternoon trying to fix the Batcomputer, and that is no small task considering I can’t just call up f*cking Best Buy and say “Yo, this computer you sold me is busted.” Oh no, not here. It was Alfred’s brilliant [...]

A look into the private journal of the Batman: So get this, f*cking Green Arrow comes stumbling into the Batcave last night, drunk as hell, puke all over his green tights or whatever the hell he calls them, and mumbling about how Hawkgirl is cheating on him with Captain Death or something. I’m elbow deep [...]

A look into the private journal of the Batman: F*ck, I am tired. AGAIN. I seem to always be writing that here in my journal. F*ckin’ tired. They’re going to put that on my gravestone – “He was f*ckin’ tired!”. I had another all-nighter last night. My fifth one this week. I canNOT keep doing [...]

A look into the private journal of the Batman: Man, I am so f*cking tired. The Penguin shot me with one of his sh*tty poisons last night and I swear I’m going to punch him in his fat face the next time I see him. What is it with that guy and the stupid poisons [...]

A look into the private journal of the Batman: Woke up this morning still in my Batsuit. Man, I was wasted last night. I don’t even know how I got back into the Batcave. I’m sure Alfred had something to do with it. I really don’t want to hear his guilt-trip bullsh*t this morning. Especially [...]